It's a ....

Drum roll please...
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Wait for it...
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Yup, we are having a boy!

18 Weeks

How far Along: 18 weeks.
How big is baby: 5 inches, about the size of a bell pepper.
Maternity Clothes: Yes, except for a few cardigans and a few tank tops I use for layering
Sleep: I've had a cold this past week so the coughing has kept me up, but I guess that isn't really pregnancy related.
Best Moment thus far: Feeling a tiny bit of movement.
Miss Anything: Not really.  Although tonight when I am lying awake coughing I might be tempted to say stronger cough suppressants.
Food Cravings: None
Anything make you queasy or sick: Finally I can say no!
Symptoms: I am continuing to have a lot of muscular and skeletal pain, but it is bearable especially with the heating pad to help.
Mood: I'm a little more irritable that normal.  Between the hormones, looking for a new house, and being sick I have not been super pleasant to be around. 
 Looking forward to: We are hoping to find out the gender next week.

Rachel's Latest Milestone

Brian here,

I have some very exciting news to share!  I've been waiting a long time for this; truly I have.  Tonight Rachel had another milestone first that is perhaps one of the most important milestones of childhood.  Tonight, Rachel played Star Wars Legos with me.  I got down the Millennium Falcon and my X-Wing fighter and we played the little Lego guys. Then, I got down Darth Vader and we had a light saber battle.  It was wonderful. She even had Chewbacca hold a little wrench and fix the hyperdrive.

Letting Go

A little over three years ago shortly before we were ready for a little one I came to the realization that I needed to work through some issues before bringing a baby into this world.  I was no longer satisfied with living a life based on fear and shame, so I gave it to God, opened up, and asked for help.  One of the most useful things I learned was to accept the anxiety I feel, but to get out of my head and notice life around me.  Feeling anxious is okay, but when we get to wrapped up in the fear and make decisions based on it we miss out on all that God has for us.  We no longer rely on God but rather view reality through the lenses of our feelings.  I also learned that I could teach Rachel to fear the world, so I began to pray for her.  I prayed that she would not have anxiety as a “thorn in her flesh” like me, but also that she would see the world despite the fact it is fallen and broken as beautiful and live her life seeing the wondrous things God has created for her to enjoy.  (As a rabbit trail, check out 2 Corinthians 12 for more on Peter and his thorn. This story spoke to me and me feelings about my anxiety.)  I also prayed that I would trust Brian fully with my safety, feelings, and decisions even though he had never given me a reason not to.  And finally I prayed to be released from any remaining shame I felt and to come to rely on God in all circumstances no mater how I was feeling. I wanted to live free and the feel the freedom we all have in Christ.  This was not an overnight change, but a slow process that I can look back over now and see all that God has done.  I am not done growing and changing and never will be until I am with Christ.

I terms of my prayers for Rachel thus far she does not exhibit anxiety like I had as even an infant.  She is outgoing, loves life, people, and learning, and very determined.  I can count on one hand the number of times she has been upset about being left with someone new.  I have also seen how easy it is to teach her fear things.  For example, the other night we were mounting her book shelves to the wall and a black widow stowed away on the screw and nail box from the garage.  That black widow made a very slow break for it right next my precious child.  I reacted, scooped her up, and called for Brian to take care of it.  Sensing the urgency on my voice she hovered next to me afraid that there would be another spider.  This was an excellent reminder of how malleable she is and how I need to put care and thought into what I expose her to and to pray to God for guidance daily if not more often.

Looking back at my relationship with Brian I can see growth.  I am still learning to trust him daily.  Colossians 3:18 says Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.  It is not a suggestion but a command and not based on how I feel toward him at the moment or whether he deserves it or not.  He deserves my respect and submission just because he is my husband, nothing more.  Letting him be the head and lead our family is a tough one for me.  I like to have control, and I must pray for help with this often.  It is important for a healthy marriage to allow him this role.  Through our relationship we are also teaching Rachel what she should desire from a future marriage.

I can see changes in my self as well.  I am no longer making decisions based out of fear and what if…  During the past couple years I have attended Sunday school , a mom’s group, social events, and even gone to the gas station all by myself.  Interestingly I thought all the anxiety was gone, that maybe God had take that “thorn” from me, but I realized last month it is still ever present.  With this pregnancy I have experienced heart palpitations.  It is not dangerous and the medical professionals insisted it was in part anxiety related to which I insisted it was not.  Anyway, while at a party the palpitations were intense.  It was then I realized that yes the anxiety is my ever present side kick, but it is no longer controlling me.  That was a huge “ah ha” moment.  God had brought me so far, and at the moment I had a glimpse of how big he is.  He is so much bigger than the box I often times place him in.  2 Corinthians 12:9 says “… ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’”

We are currently working on buying a house.  This second time around is so much different from the first.  I feel a peace and knowledge that God has the perfect house for me.  I don’t need to worry and I don’t need to counter offer or offer more than I want because God will provide that house.  I just need to get out of his way and let him.  Getting out of his way applies throughout life.  James 1:17 says "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the Heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."  It reminds me that ff I just step back the things God can and will do are beyond my imagination.

Thanks for sticking with me through this long post.  I just felt the need to share what God has been doing for me.

Jingle Bells

Rachel sings Jingle Bells (with a little help).  Enjoy!

12 Weeks

From Life with the Bjorks

From Life with the Bjorks

I have seen this pregnancy journal on multiple blogs and thought it would be fun to chronicle our journey with pregnancy number two.  We'll see if I keep it up.

How far Along: 12 weeks.
How big is baby: 3 inches, about the size of a plum.
Maternity Clothes: Um yeah.  Even though you can't tell in the picture it is amazing how much faster I have grown this time around not that I wasn't warned.
Sleep: Pregnancy insomnia has tapered off, so it is back to being great.
Best Moment thus far: Telling our families a couple weeks ago.
Miss Anything: At Christmas time we always have Hickory Farms Beef Sticks, but I am trying to be good and avoid that stuff.
Food Cravings: None, but make sure to feed me regularly or it gets ugly real fast.
Anything make you queasy or sick:  Rachel's dirty diapers.  Rinsing poopy cloth diapers right now is not working for me.  I've thought about saving them for Brian, but that seems a little mean.  Also anything really sweet.
Symptoms: Still a little tired, getting frequent headaches, and experiencing heart palpitations through out the day.  All normal stuff.
Mood: Happy to be pregnant again and that we are entering the second trimester leaving all the first trimester unpleasantness behind.
Looking forward to: Decorating Rachel's big girl room in a couple weeks.

Anouncement

Over thanksgiving we announced our pregnancy to our family.  I like the idea of telling them in person, so this time they were not the first to find out.  Although, knowing our plan to have more children, none of them were too surprised to find out.  Everyone or couple got a card with a turkey hand print made by Rachel saying "Happy Thanksgiving."  Inside was one of the pictures posted below.  When that picture was lifted there was an ultrasound picture and the words "this little turkey just wanted to say, "Hello.'"  The ultrasound picture was pretty blurry since baby would not cooperate.  Is this indicative of his/her temperament?  Hmmm.  Anyway, we had fun taking all the pictures and announcing it to our families.

From Life with the Bjorks

From Life with the Bjorks

From Life with the Bjorks

From Life with the Bjorks

She is really crying over having a time out, and us making her hold a sign before recovering from the trauma of her time out.

From Life with the Bjorks